Rejection

It's one thing to accept that one of your parents decided after being in your life for several years, that you were not worth further interest. You grow up with this adult that repeatedly tests your trust and fails. You grow past that and they just decide to stop calling. This person that you always wanted in your life that you have never been able to trust made the choice to just stop being your dad. It's been so long since he's seen you that he doesn't recognize you. He doesn't know your children but he knows that you have them.
It's one thing to accept this abandonment and another thing completely to learn that this person kept family from you. Family that asked about you and wondered how were doing. Family that looks at the baby pictures they have of you and want a connection. A family that wants you....A family that is now in the ground. Too late for catching up. No stories. Connection...severed.
I can't describe the anger and grief and disappointment I feel.
It's one thing to think that your father just doesn't care. It's another thing entirely to know that he made the choice not to.