the empty waves

Im so sick of trusting other humans with my fragility. Ive come to understand that im durable, not strong. There is a difference. You can bend something all to shit and if it doesn't break but remains warped, its durable. It will never bend back into its original shape and you may even make out what it was before....but now, its different. You can see the memory of it getting twisted and pulled. You can trace what it use to be in the colors its faded into. You cant use it for what you used it for before it got all fucked up.

Im all bent and fucked up. Im mad about it because the preliminary bend wasnt my choice. I can still be awesome in some ways, sure, whatever but as i age......i mourn the person i could've been if i did have the choice. I hate how I feel. Perpetually sad and lonely for no good goddamned reason. My parents were shit. Ill just keep smiling though. Everybody has problems,fuck you, fuck them fuck me. Fuck everybody. You're all a bunch of cunts.