Been reading my blog have you?

I'll have you know that its not difficult to imagine a world without you but its a world where the color is faded, the sounds are all the same, the people are all gray and all food seems like its missing something....
My life will never be the same without you. I can't go back, not if you don't go with me. I hit a rough patch...I hit it hard and if it hadn't been for you I may not have made it out. Julia and I are both in your debt.
I may never be able to repay you but i'm willing to try as long as you'll let me. I love you Jeremy Hayes. You're my hero :)

I realized today...

...that all my joys are aches in drag.
...that no matter how happy I am, sadness is waiting around the corner with a pipe bomb.
...that I will never be able to truly enjoy something without thinking of something ruining it.

I can lie to myself. I can smile and be pleasant like I usually am. I can play devils advocate to all my own horrors like I usually do....at least I appreciate everything more because of this outlook.
Don't take away my pain, you just take away what happiness its tethered to? ....yup....
Im caused to love more when dreaming of loss.

Beautiful days like this absolutely destroy my inner peace..

Joseph Kony

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