Creeping in again

All the doubts from which I attempt to run have pinned me down and are screaming in my face. Strange how I can wake up smiling beside you and end up by Julias crib, on the floor, in tears while the both of you sleep.
I feel like i've been sincerely ruined or rather, have allowed myself to be.
I hope im not so lost i'll lose you....it's like im a giant holding a butterfly, terrified that i'll destroy our beautiful, delicate wonderful.
Please don't be disturbed by my moodiness. I try hard to not let it effect us....to effect you.
Forgive my inability to say this directly to you Jeremiah. Your kindness can be overwhelming :)
I love you...