Cass

I miss you today. Just like i do everyday but today it's in the forefront.
I've stopped myself from giving me your ghostly advice. What you'd have said then and what you'd say now, if you were still alive, might be different.
This morning i really want to talk to you so i go to this table in my head. Its dark and there is a light shining down on it. There are 2 chairs. One on which i am sitting and the other is for you. We are across from each other and i imagine you there, first as a youth when we were carefree then, you morph into a slightly older version. The one from middle school when cares became more apparent. Then back and forth between the various adult versions of yourself i came to know.
I wish you'd just find a form and stick with it.
I scoot my chair around the table beside you, maybe being near you will help stabilize you but you just keep flickering like an old film. Never saying a word. Just smiling and changing, never speaking.
I watch. I want to rest my head on your shoulder but your ghost cant let me. You watch me. You smile and you flicker.
I want to talk to you...im afraid one day i'll forget the sound of your voice. Im afraid that one day, i'll come here and you wont flicker because i've forgotten your face.
I miss you today. More today than usual and there isnt a thing i can do about it.