So little time...

I have been entirely too optimistic. In my defense, I was led to believe that it was ok to love and trust people that say that they love and trust you. Sadly, there are things like fair weather friends, two faces, liars, users, etc....these are the ones that advocate for your trust the most. Who the fuck knows why people are shitty, hollow, selfish or unkind, I finally don't care anymore.
I didn't lose something that I loved very much, I walked away from it. I didn't feel like I had a choice.
I always thought that when someone told you that they had your back, that they would stand and fight with you. Not stand behind you and walk away while you struggle to make sense of things. Guess I have a messed up view of friends.
I've tried to reach out, a few have connected. I use to wonder if the rest ever cared like they said they did...I don't anymore. I don't mull over unanswerable questions anymore. I don't hate anymore. I don't care anymore. What once saved my soul also tried to destroy it.
I don't recommend trusting people who say that they care when their actions speak otherwise.
I don't recommend helping people that will take your hand then betray you.
It's much easier to walk away than it is to fight when you're walking away from people who make it clear that they only want you for what you can do and not who you are. Sometimes you're in too deep to see it, by then it won't matter.