Its not getting easier. It feels like each minute is mile that keeps lengthening the expanse that was already present before all of this......it feels like darkness is closing in and there is no light I can see in which to find refuge....is she feeling what im feeling? Is she scared like me? Am I the darkness to my little girl? Scared is an accurate description for me at this point.
I was petrified, too. More than petrified. I didn't like MYSELF as a kid - much less other kids so the idea of raising one was equally terrifying. Talk to your doctor about it - let him know that Postpartum Depression may be a thing for you two to watch for - I had it - really really really really bad. So bad that I was trying to figure out how far I could get on the $20 in my pocket. And worse... But I'm a year and half in and most of my demons now seem more like gnats than the big scary things they were two years ago. For what it's worth - it does get better...
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