Good fucking god people.

So! I wrote an email to my derby coach about how i was feeling. I got a cut and paste response from her and decided it would be best not to respond to it but instead to accept that i said my peace and move on.
Little did i know that said coach was not sure how to respond and passed along the email to someone else on the team. If i knew she were going to make it public, i would have posted it on the board like i had originally intended.
There has always been much talk of things to get done but not a lot if doing.
I can get things done.
It was mentioned on the team board that maybe i "could work my managerial magic" in the situation.
Despite my busy schedule and despite personal sacrifices, i decided that i would step up (as we are often asked to do)and put some organization to things.
Its now very clear that our team lacks strong communication. I intend to remedy that or leave. I cant handle women being catty or talking shit behind each others backs. I expect that in high school. We have no high schoolers on our team last i checked.

My favorite season

The air is crisp.
The sky is clear or perfectly grey.
Generally i could go on and on but today i'm having trouble finding the words.
I'm turning 30 tomorrow without you. These things have a way of creeping up on me. My favorite season fraught with the sadness of happy times that im slowly forgetting. Happy times i will try to make with Julia as she grows. My daughter will never know you but through stories. She'll only ever see your pictures. It will be tough to explain to her why i seem so sad during a time when i should not be.
I wish i could put my memories of us in a jar for safe keeping. They're in danger in my mind. I don't visit them as often as i should...i'm sorry.
Im turning 30 and you aren't here to make fun of me :) You'll be 29 at the end of the month, i'll have a drink for you...maybe i'll visit your grave. 7 years and i still haven't made it up there...sorry some more.
My favorite season and i cant wait for it to be over.