Towel status: Thrown

Im realizing now that im completely useless to everyone but Julia and Jer and that part of my high heart has sunk.
I have said that I love my work.
I have claimed love for my friends and family.
I have looked in the mirror and said 'i love you'
However,
I do no good for my employees and am at stand still with my management team and supervisor. I have lost the joy that once came with greeting my staff at the beginning of each shift with a personal 'hello!'
I have been unsuccessful in making time for my family and friends both before and after Julias birth. I want her to know them all like i want to know them all and i have failed thus far. You're all changing and im losing you.
I avoid my reflection.
I do everything in my power to ensure Julia and jer's safety and well being. I will continue to do so until it becomes impossible.
I will leave my current job to relieve their burden of me.
I will continue to try to see my friends and family when i can.
I will tell myself that it's ok but i will still avoid my reflection..