I miss talking to strangers

When I was in my early teens, I was severely depressed. At my lowest point I can remember pissing and shitting myself because I felt nothing. Actually that's inaccurate. I felt everything, so much so that I was overwhelmed to the point of numbness. The energy that I finally mustered to clean myself up made me realize that next time I should just go to the bathroom, less energy to do it that way.
On days that I was medicated enough to leave the house, I would go to St. Mary's hospital and sit in their designated smoking areas, various lobbies and vending area. I would go to these places and talk to whoever happened there.
I talked to so many people! Nurses, doctors, patients, patients loved ones, delivery personnel and on the very rare occasion - a nun.
All of these people helped me put into perspective the feelings that I could not when I was alone.
Sometimes I did want to be alone. When I did I would go to the second floor concourse, hop a wall and be on the stairs to entrance of the nunery. It was peaceful there. I felt like I could be alone with my thoughts there without them trying to destroy me. Many puddles have been weeped on those stairs.
As I've gotten older, I've gotten better at dealing with my depression. I dont require medication although in low swings I seriously consider making an appointment. Funny thing, I did call once, made an appointment and by the time it came around I was already on my way back up! Cancelled appointment.
I miss strangers.
I'm very open and honest with those that know me but wow! The things I dont say! I dont feel like anyone really knows me, which is good, I make it so. I dont want to be THAT close to anyone....not anymore.
I think about people I have trusted and how I have been royally fucked over by them and it physically hurts my chest. My throat gets tight and dry and I feel like I'll gush tears but I can generally stop before it happens. I work hard to not let the floodgates open. Fuck that. No one gets the satifaction of my tears anymore. I do that shit in private.
I need some strangers. People that dont know me. Ones that arent going to tell me what they think I want to hear or what they would do or how they would feel. Just some honest fucking conversation. Is that too much to ask?
I feel like I have no one to talk to.

BEFORE YOU ORDER

When ordering pizza this Sunday from ANY pizza chain please have the following information ready BEFORE YOU CALL. *Your phone number. Delivery or not, we need it. Why? To call if you gave us the wrong address and to verify that you have placed an order should we fuck it up. Simple right? Not so much. Many of you think you should give us the number you are using or think we have caller ID or are telepathic, i assure you, none of that shit is correct. If we cant call you, we will likely not be able to deliver your order. *YOUR ADDRESS. Not your neighbors address because its where you are calling from (see above for restrictions) we need the PHYSICAL address of where the pizza is going. This means house/apartment # and street names. We do not need the name of your building and do not automatically have the address for it. The name of the building can be helpful but ONLY if we have the physical address to begin with. Also, on the corner of blank and blank is not an address unless you can miraculously pull your mail out of the fucking sky when standing on said corner. If you can, good for you - WE STILL NEED YOUR ADDRESS. *YOUR NAME. No brainer right? Wrong. You know how many Smiths, Johnsons and Adkins there are? That order pizza?? At the same time?!? You are not a unique snowflake. We would like to address you by name should we have to call you and believe it or not, we generally have a sense of humor. If the order you placed is for Richard Slidewell or Anita Dick, great! You are that much easier to locate...as long as you dont forget what you've said - then it just becomes annoying. Dont annoy us. Its superbowl sunday, we are already supremely annoyed without your help. If your order is for carryout/pick-up (both mean the same btw) dont tell us what you ordered, please? Just tell us your name. If its Adkins and you think youre being helpful, stop it. We'll verify using your phone # if there are more than one of any name listed. *YOUR ORDER. Tell us what you want and then ask us what deals there are so we can find a fit OR when you ask what the specials are WRITE THEM DOWN, then call us back if you need time to think about it. Putting us on hold will only tie up our lines and keep us from making products. We will likely be 30 minutes or more deep in orders. We cant make the order until we are off the line so its not like keeping us on the line is going to magically make your order faster. WE ARE NOT WIZARDS. *PAYMENT METHOD. Drivers dont carry credit card machines or have sat-phones and satellite dishes on their cars to swipe your card. Tell us over the phone when you place your order or pay with cash. We dont get paid to argue with you and care even less about whats in your account. If you are worried that someone might get your CC# i ask that you stop eating every slice of bs that comes your way. It gets typed in and ran, THERE IS NO WAY TO ACCESS THAT INFORMATION AFTER ITS PROCESSED. Please note, delivery times will be high. You are not the only person in your area with the bright idea to have pizza. We do the best we can. The last thing we want is to piss you off. When youre happy, so are we. We dont get paid to argue, if we did, no one would ever get pizza. If fact, you would start saying to your friends "im hungry, you guys hungry? Yeah? Lets call and argue until we are no longer hungry" Contrary to popular belief, we do like our jobs. We dont like them when they are made more difficult by false info, poor attitude and indecision. As im sure you would be too. THANKS! Enjoy the superbowl :)