BEFORE YOU ORDER

When ordering pizza this Sunday from ANY pizza chain please have the following information ready BEFORE YOU CALL. *Your phone number. Delivery or not, we need it. Why? To call if you gave us the wrong address and to verify that you have placed an order should we fuck it up. Simple right? Not so much. Many of you think you should give us the number you are using or think we have caller ID or are telepathic, i assure you, none of that shit is correct. If we cant call you, we will likely not be able to deliver your order. *YOUR ADDRESS. Not your neighbors address because its where you are calling from (see above for restrictions) we need the PHYSICAL address of where the pizza is going. This means house/apartment # and street names. We do not need the name of your building and do not automatically have the address for it. The name of the building can be helpful but ONLY if we have the physical address to begin with. Also, on the corner of blank and blank is not an address unless you can miraculously pull your mail out of the fucking sky when standing on said corner. If you can, good for you - WE STILL NEED YOUR ADDRESS. *YOUR NAME. No brainer right? Wrong. You know how many Smiths, Johnsons and Adkins there are? That order pizza?? At the same time?!? You are not a unique snowflake. We would like to address you by name should we have to call you and believe it or not, we generally have a sense of humor. If the order you placed is for Richard Slidewell or Anita Dick, great! You are that much easier to locate...as long as you dont forget what you've said - then it just becomes annoying. Dont annoy us. Its superbowl sunday, we are already supremely annoyed without your help. If your order is for carryout/pick-up (both mean the same btw) dont tell us what you ordered, please? Just tell us your name. If its Adkins and you think youre being helpful, stop it. We'll verify using your phone # if there are more than one of any name listed. *YOUR ORDER. Tell us what you want and then ask us what deals there are so we can find a fit OR when you ask what the specials are WRITE THEM DOWN, then call us back if you need time to think about it. Putting us on hold will only tie up our lines and keep us from making products. We will likely be 30 minutes or more deep in orders. We cant make the order until we are off the line so its not like keeping us on the line is going to magically make your order faster. WE ARE NOT WIZARDS. *PAYMENT METHOD. Drivers dont carry credit card machines or have sat-phones and satellite dishes on their cars to swipe your card. Tell us over the phone when you place your order or pay with cash. We dont get paid to argue with you and care even less about whats in your account. If you are worried that someone might get your CC# i ask that you stop eating every slice of bs that comes your way. It gets typed in and ran, THERE IS NO WAY TO ACCESS THAT INFORMATION AFTER ITS PROCESSED. Please note, delivery times will be high. You are not the only person in your area with the bright idea to have pizza. We do the best we can. The last thing we want is to piss you off. When youre happy, so are we. We dont get paid to argue, if we did, no one would ever get pizza. If fact, you would start saying to your friends "im hungry, you guys hungry? Yeah? Lets call and argue until we are no longer hungry" Contrary to popular belief, we do like our jobs. We dont like them when they are made more difficult by false info, poor attitude and indecision. As im sure you would be too. THANKS! Enjoy the superbowl :)