I miss talking to strangers

When I was in my early teens, I was severely depressed. At my lowest point I can remember pissing and shitting myself because I felt nothing. Actually that's inaccurate. I felt everything, so much so that I was overwhelmed to the point of numbness. The energy that I finally mustered to clean myself up made me realize that next time I should just go to the bathroom, less energy to do it that way.
On days that I was medicated enough to leave the house, I would go to St. Mary's hospital and sit in their designated smoking areas, various lobbies and vending area. I would go to these places and talk to whoever happened there.
I talked to so many people! Nurses, doctors, patients, patients loved ones, delivery personnel and on the very rare occasion - a nun.
All of these people helped me put into perspective the feelings that I could not when I was alone.
Sometimes I did want to be alone. When I did I would go to the second floor concourse, hop a wall and be on the stairs to entrance of the nunery. It was peaceful there. I felt like I could be alone with my thoughts there without them trying to destroy me. Many puddles have been weeped on those stairs.
As I've gotten older, I've gotten better at dealing with my depression. I dont require medication although in low swings I seriously consider making an appointment. Funny thing, I did call once, made an appointment and by the time it came around I was already on my way back up! Cancelled appointment.
I miss strangers.
I'm very open and honest with those that know me but wow! The things I dont say! I dont feel like anyone really knows me, which is good, I make it so. I dont want to be THAT close to anyone....not anymore.
I think about people I have trusted and how I have been royally fucked over by them and it physically hurts my chest. My throat gets tight and dry and I feel like I'll gush tears but I can generally stop before it happens. I work hard to not let the floodgates open. Fuck that. No one gets the satifaction of my tears anymore. I do that shit in private.
I need some strangers. People that dont know me. Ones that arent going to tell me what they think I want to hear or what they would do or how they would feel. Just some honest fucking conversation. Is that too much to ask?
I feel like I have no one to talk to.