Warning: I bitch here

So im packing today. Need to be out by the 1st. Not only am I packing my things but im packing jeremy's things too. Why? you ask, because it wont get done otherwise.
Im feeling 'ways' about things. Im already pregnant crazy on top of being ridiculously depressed about my life before I got pregnant....sigh....I'm starting to understand how the women in that show feel, what's it called? Snapped, maybe? I could definitely snap right now. I could drive straight off a cliff without hitting the brake.
I can't say that im losing control, I never had any to begin with. Maybe that's the problem.....

Pregnant

I was super-pissed when I first found out. Then I moved on into acceptance and became happy about having a baby.....then worried when it dawned on me that the man I love, with whom i've had major issues (to the point of moving out) is the father.
He claims he has a purpose now - to be a father. I understand that some people just need a wake up call. I was hoping this was his......

I found out less than 30 days ago about the baby....less than 30 days and he's already falling back into old habits.

Im worried about his abilities to cope with all the things that come with having a child...he can't even care for himself half of the time.

Our relationship isn't suddenly fixed but it does go on the backburner now that we have a bigger issue. What happens when the baby is growing up and all mommy and daddy do is fight? I don't want to fight around my child but with jeremy, it seems inevitable....his temper.

We have to be out of this house in less than a week and all he has done is pack some books and cds.

Im so scared and stressed out from this and working too much that im not sure how much more I can take. How could I let myself end up this way? I don't know what to do....

Weapons I have been

Children don't solve problems. They put them on hold while compounding them. The issues that existed before don't magically go away.
Parents begin to raise them. Begin to disagree. Begin to remember old wounds. Remember their own feelings again.

They supply tension.
  The child absorbes.
They supply arguments.
  The child absorbes.

When they argue from shear unhappiness, even love becomes a conflict and the child becomes a weapon.
No longer essential to a family unit now divided. The child disconnects and the weapon is forged. The child wins affection through manipulation, just like you taught it to. The child uses you as a weapon against yourself.

It takes years of therapy to undo all your mistakes but leaves a deep scar.

I have been this weapon. I cannot let this happen to my child. I worry much.