Frozen

Im at a loss for words.
I can't describe how I feel.
That never happens.
Its not like it matters.
I held back tears for hours today.
It was one of the hardest things i've done in a while.
Swallowing all my emotions....it pains me but, its the right thing....for everyone....even for me? Maybe I can believe that one day.
I just want to scream.